T +73

Dear Piglet, I feel like crap now after talking to you just then. Maybe not such a good choice of topic. I'm sorry if i was lousy before and that i didn't do enough of the things you were expecting. Maybe i was just too afraid of how my parents would react. Fear of them not accepting. Maybe i just wasn't observant enough of what you wanted. And i do agree with you that r/s can be the same level as work, and you should know that it usually is the case during our r/s. Only on occasions when i'm panicking when i decide to leave you out of my mind. But i dun think there were occasions when i rejected or neglected your needs because of work. Oh wells, but i guess, there isn't any point talking about this anymore issit? And sigh, why must you keep trying to find things to call me, complain to partner, girlfriend or what not. Not sure why i'm upset about this but i guess i'm just holding on to whatever you treat me as now. Its ok being honest and telling me things, but when i say i'm unavailable, i am unavailable. I don't think you can love somebody else while you still have somebody in your mind can you? Jealous much. I can only blame myself, for not trying hard enough while i had the chance. And i can only be patient and hope that the best case scenario will play out. I will fight to the bitter end. because that's me, stubborn and resilient. The more you doubt me, the more i will prove you wrong. The more you beat me down, the stronger i will be. Patience and sheer dogged determination. Bear