T +48

Dear Piglet,

This is the one week that i am sliding back again. I was able for a few weekends to keep the sadness and misery to just the weekends. But not this week, i felt crappy all week. And i guess you could tell when i was talking to you online yesterday. I feel so much better ranting to you about problems and stuff not related to you. after i am relieved of all those problems, i feel overwhelmed by our situation again. I guess i should be feeling happy now, when i am collecting my car tmr. I really hoped that you are the first person that i can drive around, i really hoped that you will be able to come collect it with me. Just like how i want you to be the first to know that my day went badly, like how i want you to be the first to know that i had a great achievement in hospital like diagnosing Wernicke's. I want to show off to you about my greatness and i want to crawl back into your arms when my day sucked. I want you to be there when i buy something more than a hundred bucks, much more so for a car. I want you to be there to say that red colour is ugly but only meaning to spite me.

a lot of people have told me to stop thinking about the what ifs and could bes. but what am i to do. jema said that i fall in love to deeply. maybe that's why i am struggling to learn how to be lonely again. How to buy dinner for yourself, how to enjoy the tram ride home alone with no one to talk to, how to walk to school just with music in your ears, how to wake up everyday greeted not by an sms or a kiss but by the cold and a reluctance to wake up. I miss kissing your forehead before you sleep, i miss pretending to be angry and leave your room. I miss holding your hands and looking you in the eye telling you i've never felt like that before in a cheesy way. I miss going to cinemas with couple seats with you.

I thought that after 48 days, almost 7 weeks, i would feel better. but yesterday, i cried again. It hurt the same, and i cried. There's still so many things i want to do with you. wells, like m j said, i've tried asking you out. maybe you are genuinely busy, maybe you are not ready. but i guess i will keep trying. i've never felt so crestfallen. i've never felt so heart-less.

Piglet, i hope you would meet me somewhere in between so that it isn't so hard for me.

I miss you so much piglet.

Bear

Chris Medina - What are words


Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
And I'm gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight
And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel close