T +43

Dear Piglet,

Its been almost a week since i last blogged. I've just been too busy trying to read up for the next day and have been putting this off till now. I guess that is a show of me knowing where my priorities are.

I think i've programmed my mind to know where the lines are already. Not contacting you unless contacted first. i've done pretty well in it, except maybe i depend on a few other friends more during this period of time. i am even able to say that some of the emotional attachment is beginning to fade. Now, i am afraid. The greatest thing behind why i didn't want to forget was because i dun want things to fade and change. Alright, maybe not emotional attachment, but emotional dependence. Maybe its a first step to try to find happiness again, but im still not a happy person. I spent 18000 on a car that i don't think i will need much, just to make myself happy and keep myself occupied. Now all i need is probably to find an activity i can participate weekly to further keep my mind off these things.

Sometimes when people say certain things, it still hurts. Things like, eh, now got civic already can go out jio girls again already. I mean, i know you guys mean well and all, but i was so craving to tell you guys that i am single but unavailable. I need to find my heart back. When u see people going out together in pairs, it just makes you feel sad how you cannot be with the one you love.

I remember that day when it was our one month anniversary, it seemed like i didn't care much but i actually cycled to macs to buy breakfast for us. the drinks spilled all the way and i was so sianed that my choclocate was all along wellington road. Seeing that smile on your face when i went into your room made it all worthwhile. I just love it when i see your, what the hell did you do know, what are you up to, huh, why you go so far to buy breakfast kind of face. Well, i guessed if i could make nice breakfast, i wouldn't need so much effort.

Going to pancake parlour together that sunday morning was also one of our breakfast escapades. Climbing up so early in the morning to travel to glen. remember the two super nice cars, ferrari and porshe that we saw? It was that day, there were still so little people at the glen. we jsut went in and ordered a short stack. it was simple and nice, but i really just want to spend time with you like that. i may not be the person always with things to talk about, i just want to spend time with you and being there with you just makes me feel so happy.

I still remember that day at Wilson's Prom when we stayed back for the open air cinema. Alice in wonderland was it? Not sure if you really wanted to stay to watch but its just another one of the things i really wanted to do with you. open air cinema. ok, maybe i was imagining more of a two of us lying on top of a convertible watching the movie kind of thing, but that was good enough. buying a cup of hot drink so that you can hold it in your hand and feel some warmth when we were so underprepared for the cold. I just love doing everything with you. I want to go for a road trip with you right beside me all the while. I haven't had enough of you. But this easter, i think i will be a lonely man.

I wonder when can i hug you tightly again.

Bear