T +09

Dear Piglet,

Talked to her last night on msn. She talked to me first. wasn't in a really good mood then. So i just poured everything out. Everything about how i don't know what her intentions are and if they are genuine or sincere when she talks to me. And also about how i'm afraid that i might seem to be pestering her and all. Well she said that she knows i am making effort not to contact her and all. but does she really know the full extent of this effort? daily or should i said hourly mental torture and flipping the phone and staring at the phone. grrr. Does she even know how hurt i was after the lunch thing. I guess like she said she will always have a soft spot for me. But it seems like during this whole process of recovering, i am needing her more than she need me. I guess she's moved on a little further than i have maybe. Or maybe i do not have as many friends as she does to help her. I do have some friends who are always there, but i guess i dun like to pour my worries to others and burden them.

Ok, promised to talk about somethings that i manage to rmb. Let's talk about venepuncture. Yes, we had to draw blood from each other to get this certificate thing. I managed to get blood in my second try. She tried twice and couldn't, so the next day she had to go back and try to redo it, and she didn't again. I rmb patting her on her back while walking towards campus centre where we parted because we had different lessons. I told her, let there be blood. xq was around, so a bit hard for me to give her a huge squeezy hug before. I went to meet her up to walk home together. I asked about venepuncture. she didn't reply and asked me not to say anything first. She started walking very fast. I walked her up to her house and then she opened the door and saw xq. she was in tears already, so she quickly pulled me away and came down to my room instead. There she sat, all in tears and i was so lost. I just kept trying to encourage her and tried to talk to her logically and about other plans. Like how she might need to delay her flight to go for venepuncture lessons. i kept consoling her and she just kept crying. My heart was aching so much seeing her lidat. I miss her running towards me like that. I miss holding her tightly and running my fingers through her hair to console her. I miss trying to pinch her cheeks and force a smile on her face. I miss putting her right where my heart is, holding her hands and telling her everything will be ok.

I miss you piglet.

Bear