T +12

Dear Piglet,

Sigh, its day 12 already, wasn't able to put a post for day 11 cos i was out late. Went to meet 3 other friends since 8pm till now. Talked to cas about the whole thing. Everyone's like her, asking me to stay strong and all but its just so hard. My eyes still well up in tears sometimes thinking about it. I really really hope being at Alfred will overwhelm me so much that i can't even catch my breath. I really really still hope that we will be together again. Nic's heartbroken too, but she still managed to get me to still try to go to church with her and everything. she's probably the only person encouraging me in this direction. Everyone else is just like, move on bernard. But the thing is i dun want to regret. Life's too short for unhappiness and regrets. And like i told cas, i may seem ok, still smiling and all, but my heart's frowning, i just dun show it. Just like you should already know.

Going to fly back tmr already, instead of wondering about transport, money or whatever, i am worried about whether she would call me or should i call her just before i fly. When she flies, would she call me too? would she know that i am worried and that i want to know that she's boarding or she's landing? i'm really hopeless. now i dun even have somebody to watch the green hornet with. Somebody who will watch anything i want to watch. i know you will critisize my dear jay chou and all throughout the movie, but u will still say something nice in the end just to make me happy.

Once she was going to prepare dinner. Tacos and meat with tomato sauced marinade with lettece and sour cream. She cooked everything already except the tacos. She claimed that the tacos weren't hot enough in the oven. So i suggested putting it in the grill for a faster effect. And then, for all we knew, the whole stove started to catch fire and smoke was bellowing out from every hole on the stove. She was like stunned, and was going to like ask me to get the fire extinguisher. but then i thought, fire extinguisher need to break safety seal and breaking the safety seal will mean probably a report and investigation, so i just scooped some water and splashed it over. when the fire was out, it didn't only mean that our dinner was destroyed, it meant a lot of scrubbing to do, to clean the black stains on the white stove. Luckily, we quickly dealt with that, with some fanfare in her house also. xq and felita came to view our disaster. We managed to scramble some food together, like garlic bread and a very awful carrot cake i bought from the asian grocer. her first time seeing a fire like that, and of cos a first one for me to see something being burnt so spontaneously. From then on, we never really dared to use the grill without opening the cover. It was so shocking to her i guess she even wrote it in her diary. Just something worth rmbering i guess.

Bear