T + 23

Dear Piglet,

just saw you yesterday but i still feel like crap now. Too much to say now. Too much tears, too much sleepless nights and certainly too much alcohol. I was just looking through our msn conversations from 14/1. Everything that we said. I sometimes wonder if you will still uphold them. First it was, i still want you to be my best friend and we can still sit together and talk and anything and we don't have to care what other people say as long as we know our lines. Then it was maybe we can be good friends (like really really really good friends) for now. Then it became your call that maybe we shouldn't meet so often and we decided to meet once a month. And then it was that monday when u couldn't talk to me when u saw me in school and there was the other day when u said you won't be contacting me until saturday for the party when u would come earlier to talk to me until i dun think i will contact you for the next few months.

We promised, while sitting beside each other somewhere in Sydney, overlooking the Sydney Harbour bridge and the Sydney Opera House, that if anyone of us thinks that the relationship isn't going to work out, to tell the other person at the earliest possible time and that we will still remain as very good friends even after. I am still hoping that you would honour your word but only time will tell. I still try to tell myself to be patient and to maintain my trust in you. Because as long as i know and believe that our friendship isn't lost, it makes it just that little bit easier to get by for me. But taking all the changes in the past three weeks into consideration, its harder and harder for me to believe, and harder and harder for me to get by each day.

i will keep trusting you,
but i hope i don't have to prepare for disappointment.

Bear