T +25

Dear Piglet,

weekends are the hardest to get by, i can't wait for mondays to come, i guess medicine was really meant for me, it just fills me up. Or maybe its just the busy schedule. How have u been piglet dear, how's cabrini, how's going around with consultants? How's your groupmates and beside tutes, how's your patients, any interesting patients? How's studying. I hope you aren't stressed. Too many things i want to know about you. But you just aren't around anymore.

I watched hello stranger alone, and i cried, alone. I guess everytime i watch a romance film, i might just cry. How do you find the strength to give me up like this. I really want to say this, try and forget me, try to ignore me, i am sure you won't be able to do it easily. I really want to be so super confident and arrogant when i say that, but i am not sure anymore.

i was in the gym and i walked straight into a glass door. It wasn't pain that i felt at that instance, i only just wanted to send u a random sms, to tell you i did something stupid. But i can't, i can't anymore. Its just isn't the same telling you compared to like beow or mj or sasha. Because you will laugh at me and yet ask if i am ok. you will probably call me a stupid boy but i like that. I asked God for a sign, a sign for me to believe and find my next direction. I am still waiting for it.

I was trying to recall our times together, and i thought of the many times when u came down to my place and we were running around, chasing each other, not letting you come into the room and then u just shout bernard chua very loudly outside and i have to let you in so that u don't disturb jem. I miss the time when u tried to hide a note and do some hide and seek thing. and i rmb i put the note in my mouth. I was frantically looking for that note, i spent about 15 minutes looking everywhere, it could be in singapore but i felt something was missing, even when not having that little note of yours. i am sure it was written that it isn't fun playing hide and seek when u know the hiding place already. I was so happy running around, laughing loudly in my house and my housemates will be like looking at us and wonderin what got into us.

And then i rmbed the first time i kissed you. It was a school day, probably a 9 oclock start. i went up to find you before leaving and i kissed you on your cheeks before we left. at that moment, i thought that maybe one day, we would still be like this when we've become doctors, kissing you goodbye before going to work. i really wished it could stay that way.

wells, my nick now is from the song Angels or Devils by Dishwalla. Nice emo songs with lyrics that i like.

and i can see the pain in you
and i can see the love in you
but fighting all the demons will take time
will take time

Bear